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Its that little space on your profile that says, “body type”.

And it doesn’t help that most of the guys who approached me wanted full body photos off the bat, which I understand on the one hand but still think is rude, because it means they’re more interested in what your body looks like as opposed to who you are as a person. It’s kind of shallow, disgusting and off-putting depending on how they approach you. It should be a law: Dudes, it is hella fucking rude to act like you absolutely need a picture to talk to someone because it shows how shallow you are.

OkCupid options for body type as I filled out my profile:

  • Rather not say
  • Thin
  • Overweight
  • Skinny
  • Fit
  • Average
  • A little extra
  • Jacked
  • Athletic
  • Curvy
  • Full-figured
  • Used up

I would never say “rather not say”. I like to be upfront with people, because I’m pretty political about my identity as a fat womyn right now. I would never leave the space blank because it implies one of two things

a) I didn’t like any of the words they used, I would’ve preferred to self-describe


b) I was ashamed to say I’m fat and therefore too ashamed of how I’ve been made to feel about my body to put myself out there though I did it anyway.

I settled with the word “overweight”. I think terms like “full-figured”, “curvy”, and “a little extra” might be misleading. “Overweight” is a more technical to me, and it stirs away from a sense of pompousness and flattery that the person who will see my body sooner or later may not agree with.

Though it was very difficult for me, I posted a mostly full body photo of myself. Though I thought my expression was ridiculous, I went for a friendly expression and posture since my sister took the photo for me. I feel I have a raw, direct, and intense gaze that can show my sexuality, I try to keep it under wraps and I wasn’t tryin’ to get that real while my sister was taking the picture, lol. So I settled for this friendly look that really didn’t made feel some kind of way.

I wasn’t trying to trick anybody into my lair. I want to be honest about what I look like and how I feel about it. I want the other person to be honest with me.

I really didn’t like how this online dating site tries to pigeonhole people into body types by playing on how they might perceive their bodies based on a limited number options.