I was reading gardientlair’s recent tumblr post about Black men’s support of sexist racism against Black women while claiming Black women’s dating standards are “unreasonable”.
No matter what the reason for their behavior, it is not Black women’s fault. Any reason I can think of for why men [of my own race] can’t date me without trying to change me to suit their insecurities and ideas of what a woman is “supposed to be like” comes down to some personal problem that must have something to do with “whats wrong with me”. That’s how I’ve been taught to think of my Manlessness. Ain’t got one, its my fault some how, some way–that’s what they say.
Also, queer as I am, these hyper-heterosexist shenanigans in the Black community just don’t amuse me.
I may desire a nice relationship with a male-sexed person all I want, but men’s number one dedication will always be to themselves and satisfying their ego, it will never be equal–that’s male privilege. The truth is I believe most men choose to behave like a lower life forms and I’m not here for that. Their manhood is defined by that mode of behavior, and it will continue to be so as long as they place some contrived oppressive notion of manhood above being a decent human being.
I’m coming to realize, because of the state of things, I’ll probably go my whole life without very many meaningful, lasting, dedicated relationships, especially those of the intimate sort, especially those with men. Its not from lack of trying and its not my fault. That’s how life is for one such as I, and I deserve to have the kinds of relationships I want and ones that contribute to my wholeness.
People’s dedication will remain to fitting into the masses, to being sheep to be shepherded by the status quo and what’s safe. If I fall outside of that, so be it.
I’m turning my energy to my writing, and trying to focus less on other people’s problems.