My sister is home for the holidays. As much of a brat as she can be, I’m happy to see her, ^_^. I got into an argument with my mother for being verbally abusive again when I was trying to help her at her own insistence, so my sister arrived just in time.

Despite the little bomb she dropped a few days ago. I’m worried around her but the decision is completely up to her in the end.

I feel strange because people are making decisions for my life without consulting me, again, taking advantage of my kindness. This year I want to be more in control of my [currently kinda awful] situation and will do whatever’s in my power to make it better. But I know there’s just some things I can’t control or do anything about except damage control. Its still a chore to separate what I can change and what I cant change.

I think I’ve made a lot progress in learning to take better care of myself. I struggle with a lot of things and feel I’ve learned a lot this year in terms of ways to not beat myself up over it when its outside of my control. Its awesome to feel my own power.

Christmas is Christmas and though I like winter and the lights, I’m just waiting for the season to pass. When you have no money and aren’t religious, Christmas is kind of pointless. But as hard as it is to be around passive people, I am glad I got to see my sister.

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