, , ,

I’ve been trying to get to the bottom of what bothers me so much about pretty much getting lumped into the light-skinned privilege group because of my skin tone. I’ve talked about this in past posts between at least two of my blogs.

I won’t and I can’t speak for all light skinned Black people, I don’t want to. I can only speak for myself.

Yes, light skinned privilege is real.

Yes, I have some of it. (I am not directly mixed, nor have I ever been accused of looking mixed or of any race other than the one that I am.)

Once I read from someone that “light-skinned people can see themselves anywhere”.

At the same time browner Black women need to voice their experiences, feelings, and thoughts as they see fit, its dangerous and unhelpful to make assumptions like that within a marginalized group; its dangerous to assume that something like light skinned privilege is even and overarching for all that it applies to.

All my life, people have assumed who I am, what I’m like, and how and what I experience. As true and real and detrimental as light skinned privilege is, that doesn’t change how I feel about the position I find myself in. This post is my part of my resolution to stop letting those opinions and assumptions weigh me down.

I don’t like being written off for having privileges that I don’t have/experience, or more privilege than I’ve actually experienced. I don’t like being looked at and judged because of something I can’t help, the color I was born. But it seems I’m expected to accept it.

All my life, I’ve tried to learn from the mistakes of the people around me, to listen and discern, to be real and sincere, to be better and more compassionate, and speak up for justice for Black women.

And to be automatically accused on sight of doing less than that just because I was born lighter than my mother, fraternal twin sister, the would-be father, brother, and other members of my family strips me of my patience. I leave room for judgement and improvement but it never seems to be enough for people.

I’ve been through too much and fought too hard to accept that.

Bless my poor lil’ bleeding little light-skinned heart (because I know that’s how some people see it) but that’s how I feel and I what I think about it for myself. Its not fair or easy to deal with: to be Black and be treated roughly the same as an ignorant racist white person by browner Black people. White folks and other races parade their anti-Black racism in my face while a lot of dark-skinned women write me off automatically, then these other foolish ignorant light-skinned folks making stuff worse.

White racism and internalized oppression is so divisive and sinister that its come to this. Sometimes I’m confused about what I should do to honor myself and my race.