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This morning, I was having a conversation with my friend about how white racism is so entrenched in the Black consciousness and experience that you never know what bend its going to pop out around and how. One thing that we agreed on is that a huge chunk of the challenges and problems Black people face derive from whites and are maintained by them, so its very difficult for Black people to focus on the issues within our own communities.

I said I wish Black people could live without white control or white people at all. I know its not literally possible. They have sustained a world where our well being doesn’t matter at all and they can insert themselves wherever they like whether we want them there or not. How is that possible but a Black woman can’t want a community that whites are not overtly or covertly asserting their whiteness in?

My friend proceeded to talk about how she doesn’t want to blame every white person for their history and the continued actions of their race….

I can’t even talk to her about the deep well of disgust and anger I feel when I sense that members of my race are sympathizing with white supremacy. I have no patience for apologists and sympathizers. “Innocent” white people may not look like they’re part of the problem but they aren’t part of the solution either, so that makes them white privilege spongers in the grand, failing scheme of Black liberation, therefore part of the problem.

Its been about a month since we talked because she’s been really sick and trying to keep up in school. I didn’t want to turn it into an argument or a debate or talk down to her because of how she feels–I used to feel like that. So I refrained from incidentally beating her over the head with my views, which you will hear me say quite often.

Its conversation like this that remind me why I feel like such a loner.

I could call what I think and feel “beliefs” but they’re pretty much political views. Justified or not, I try not to let my anger control me but it doesn’t go away no matter what I do. It just shifts around. A teacher in college told me I have a soul wound. Its pain. Its anger. I guess I just need to learn to live with it.

The only answer that will satisfy me is “Yes, Black people need to be able to coincide without dependency or interference from white people and white control”. The only reality I can accept is one where this happens.

So fuck all the “good white people”. Fuck all this whining about the little white children. Fuck all the white apologists whether they be friend, foe, or stranger.

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