I try not to use the word bitch. Especially not in public. It sends the wrong message to the people who have the wrong definition of the word.
Some people have claimed this word as a positive thing. I think its mostly negative and when I use it as a behavioral descriptor, its most likely not a compliment.
I have a very particular definition and its not restricted by gender. I would never use it lightly, or use it when I don’t mean it. I’ve been lectured by holier-than-thou feminists about it. My response is this: if you’re conforming perfectly to a stereotype, with no remorse and for your own benefit and at the expense of those around you, what else am supposed to think? These type of feminists have no right to condescend to anyone without being able to understand how they’re participating in shaming other feminists for not sharing their exact views on everything and being honest about their life experiences.
There’s bitch–primarily men’s way of dismissing women. Then there’s bitch– a selfish person who’s actions do nothing but hurt, oppress, and dehumanize just about everyone around them, or at least me. Like the white French lady who walked up to me after a spoken word performance and smoked her cigarette in my face while saying that poetry is supposed to be pleasant and my political piece upset her.
Once you’ve been where I’ve been, you know for certain that there are people out there who are rude, privileged, disrespectful, and oppressive–they think only of themselves and only of their own needs and desires with no thought to the consequences. That’s a bitch to me. I would never use the word bitch in the way men use it to dehumanize and ignore women and their concerns. I just try to keep it real. I don’t use the word unless I’m at a total loss for words and politeness towards a person’s behavior as described in this post. And I definitely don’t want to encourage people who are ignorant of this distinction to go wagging their tongues and say Ms. Queenly told them to.