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I used to touch the stars with my fingertips, taste the clouds on my tongue. Now I’m just human, staring up from standing on the cold hard ground.

I feel like I’m relearning everything I thought I knew all over again. I learned from other people’s mistakes as a child. These days, however, I’m learning from my own. Does that make me a fool? That’s what the latin proverb from last month says in my Chicken Soup for the Soul calender….

It reminds me that I’m human and I hate it. I like feeling super, I like having it together. I like knowing what to expect next because, usually, I do know. Life is just that predictable most of the time.

Or maybe I only thought it was.

Ever since I started down this journey of living the life I want to live as opposed to the life I was taught to live in order to survive, I’ve found more and more that things I thought I already knew are being reinforced by old lessons relearned because of new mistakes. Don’t mix money and passion. Follow your heart. Don’t listen to or bother with haters. Think for yourself. Healing takes time. Look before you leap. Be gentle with yourself. You have a gift.

Its quite painful.

I was young with the wisdom of an old soul. I was trying to survive and now I’m trying to live. Living seems infinitely harder in some ways.