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I almost collapsed from the heat and having to carry my heavy bags home from the store. While I was sitting at the bus stop  this lady (also coming to catch the bus) walks up. She smiles at me and I smile back, hoping I look friendly and not scary, then she says, “Hace mucho calor”. I’m like, um “Mucho”, wanting to say Yes, its veeery hot.  I understood she was saying its very hot and I wanted to talk to her but I don’t speak any degree of fluid Spanish. She said, “No habla Espanol.” I nodded and almost hung my head in shame.

I felt like a Muggle. Only with a real person, not a wizard, and me not being a fictional non-magic person.

I always feel so embarrassed for only knowing English. I took Japanese in college, long enough to meet my requirements for graduation but definitely not long enough be fluent. I had taken Spanish before that point from middle school on. Because I have anxiety issues and was never actually taught Spanish, just drilled on it and forced into it by school (same with Japanese), I realize that I never really learned much of anything in terms of actually talking to another person and doing everyday things. Learning another language has never been a wholly fun, rewarding, and enriching experience.

I guess the best thing to do is try to really learn a new language. Swahili. French. Japanese. Spanish. It’d be nice to be able to talk to nice-looking people commenting on the weather sometimes that don’t speak English.

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